


Heaven

by Aurorazilla



Category: Archie Comics, Archie Comics & Related Fandoms, Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Smut, Soft gay love aaaaaaaaaa, conversion therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 20:13:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14143671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurorazilla/pseuds/Aurorazilla
Summary: Cheryl will never let Toni go. No matter what they say, she will always - always - harbor those feelings and memories. Even if Toni forgets about her, Cheryl will never forget about Toni.OR: the missing time gap between the Rescue and the next day





	Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> hi im tired as fuck and still quaking from that KISS jesus CHRIST

The food, she thinks, is in her top three list of the worst things about her current situation. It’s probably number three, the second being what the hell is happening to her in general, and the first being the cold loneliness that’s beginning to eat at her chest.

It’s hardly even  _edible_. The quality is horrific - even worse than any cafeteria food she’s ever seen at school. She thinks it’s supposed to be ham and cheese on rye, but it tastes like bologna and mayonnaise so she’s not really sure how to feel about it besides confused/disgusted.

But she has to eat, because the bitch won’t leave the damn room ‘til she does. So she takes a bite and chews twice, nose wrinkling in disgust.

“If you don’t finish,” Sister Jameson warns, “you will spend supper in the chapel.”

Cheryl rolls her eyes, but eats silently. If she thinks really hard, she imagines eating a burger with Toni at Pop’s. Imagines the soft curve of the pink-haired girl’s lips when she steals one of Cheryl’s fries and Cheryl bats her hand away in vain. Imagines sparkling brown eyes, finding hers in a darkened bedroom, and the way they looked over Cheryl’s face like she was memorizing every damn feature.

She feels a sting of loneliness again. That’s the worst part about this place. The reality that she should give up. Give up on what could have been, but wasn’t. Toni will be okay without her. She imagines Toni is looking for her, but when she reaches a dead end, she’ll cut her loss. Cheryl doubts she’ll have to wait long. After all, a girl like Toni is more rare than any diamond. She’ll find someone who can be with her, happily and openly.

But that’s okay.

She has her memories. She has Toni burned to the backs of her eyelids, and when she feels like the world is closing in on her, she remembers. Remembers late night talks about their pasts; remembers laughing at lunch because Toni could easily eat her weight in tater tots and Cheryl thinks it’s so cute; remembers it all, because even if Toni forgets, at least Cheryl won’t.

She holds her memories in the space her heart used to be. Fills it with the warmth she used to feel. Because this is her life, now. She has to bury these things again, but she won’t let them fade.

She won’t let  _Toni_ fade.

 

* * *

 

Some nights, the memories feel more like a haunting. Ghosts. They sneak into her mind when she least expects it. When she’s looking out of her window, when she’s pulling her drab clothes on for the day, when she’s undergoing some form of punishment that leaves her sore and feeling so close to breaking.

“What you feel,” Sister Woodhouse drawls, “is not natural. You miss emotional connection, don’t you?”

“With parents like mine, you would too.” Cheryl quips.

The woman frowns, stepping forward. “Now, Cheryl, I want to help you. You aren’t alone, dear.”

_You’re not alone._

Toni said that a few times. It always made Cheryl’s body tingle head to toe.

But the way Sister Woodhouse says it makes her skin crawl. She  _is_ alone. She has nobody here on her side. Help her.  _Help_ her? God, all they’re doing is trying to force her into believing something she stopped believing as soon as she found forever in the brown eyes of a leather clad girl with pink hair.

_You’re not deviant. You’re not loveless._

“Your deviancy is a result from your lack of-”

“Love? My lack of  _love_?” Cheryl scoffs. “Please.”

The woman’s lip curls into a scowl. “Very well. It seems you need to be taught a lesson.”

Cheryl spends the rest of the night, and far into the next day, with her arms bound to her bed. No food. No water. No bathroom breaks.

She imagines Toni laying beside her, a breath away, and lets herself succumb to the terrible ache that’s wedged itself into her chest.

 

* * *

 

She imagines Toni would comment on her strong will. After all, the rest of the people here are already mindless zombies. She thinks they’re doped up on some kind of medication, but Cheryl is high on something else entirely: Toni. Yes, she’s still haunting Cheryl like a ghost and it’s something Cheryl is afraid to let go of.

She imagines Toni making snide comments.  _“Cheerleaders? Really? Do they **want** us to get turned on by this?”_ Yes, Toni, she’d reply.To catch us feeling temptation.  _“I’m tempted to hurl myself out a window.”_ And Cheryl would giggle. And they’d probably get punished.

She wonders what Toni is doing, now. If she’s finally given up searching for her. It sends a pang of sadness to her chest. She wants to give up, too, but she doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to give up on Toni. Even if there’s no chance of her coming here, of saving her, Cheryl holds onto foolish hope.

One of the cheerleaders looks like Toni. Or, she sort of does. Toni in a cheerleading uniform. Because she wanted to be closer to Cheryl.

Cheryl hadn’t given much thought about love. Not since Heather. But the thing is, she wishes she knew how to make it stop. Because she thinks - she thinks she could have really, truly loved Toni. If not now, then later down the line. She thinks she and Toni could have held hands, and kissed, and been happy.

But that can never happen.

She’s stuck here. Probably forever.

And Toni isn’t here.

_“Cheryl?”_

God, she still hears her voice sometimes.

_“Cheryl?”_

It hurts. Cheryl wants to stop seeing her in everything. Stop hearing her when her heart is shattering over and over. Wants to cover her ears and scream until Toni gets out of her system.

The door slams open. Cheryl jumps, but the mindless fools around her hardly move. “Cheryl! Are you in here?”

Cheryl feels a jolt of shock strike her. She stands shakily. “Toni?”

God, she can’t-

She can’t be real.

“We came to rescue you.” Toni finds her in the sea of darkness and unfamiliar faces, and everything inside of Cheryl boils over.

“You did?”

She came for her. Toni is real and she’s here and she-

She came for Cheryl.

She doesn’t even feel herself move, and suddenly Toni’s arms are around her and everything feels right again and she feels  _whole_ and like the world finally,  _finally_ makes sense. Because she’s not deviant. Her heart is right where it fucking belongs.

And then Toni’s lips are on hers, and her thumb wipes at the tears on her cheeks, and Cheryl feels herself melting from the inside out. When Toni pulls back a bit, Cheryl leans forward and reconnects their lips.

Because Toni is the only thing that has ever made sense since Jason died, and Cheryl isn’t going to let her go.

 

* * *

 

Cheryl doesn’t let go of Toni’s hand. Not for a second. Kevin slows the truck to a stop in front of a motel that, under every other circumstance, Cheryl would have refused to step foot in. But she doesn’t want to go to Thistle House. Not yet. She still feels like this is a dream spiraling out of control.

“What are we doing here?” Toni asks.

Veronica turns to look at them, her gaze settling on Toni. “I booked you a room for the night.”

“What? You didn’t have to do that.” Toni frowns.

“I’m not taking Cheryl to her  _house_ after we _broke her out of conversion therapy._ ” Kevin says sternly.

“Stay with her.” Veronica’s voice softens. “I know your home situation isn’t ideal, either.”

Toni hesitates, but nods slowly. “Yeah. I- okay.” She takes a deep breath, and looks down at Cheryl, who has spent the entirety of the ride back into Riverdale with her head on Toni’s shoulder and her hand firmly intertwined with Toni’s.

She can’t let go of her. If she does, Toni will disappear and she’ll wake up in a cold room. She’s sure of it.

“Thank you,” Cheryl says quietly to Kevin and Veronica.

Toni opens the door and helps Cheryl out of the truck. Veronica looks between them with a knowing expression, nods her goodbye and Toni shuts the door.

When they find their room, Toni unlocks it with the key Veronica gave her. Her hand is shaking. As soon as the door shuts behind them, they embrace each other tightly. Cheryl clings to Toni with all her strength because Toni is  _here_ and she  _saved her_  and, God, Cheryl has never, ever felt so strongly about someone.

“You saved me,” Cheryl whispers disbelievingly. “Toni…”

“I didn’t stop looking for a second.” Toni pulls back a bit so she can look at Cheryl. “I was going  _crazy_. I couldn’t- if they had managed to-”

“Nobody could ever make me forget about this.” Cheryl promises softly, her bottom lip trembling as her eyes stung with tears. “God, Toni, they could never take this away from me. Not them, not my mother,  _nobody_.” Because she’s sick of losing soulmates, and people she cares most about. She clung to whatever she and Toni have because it’s worth fighting for.  _Toni_ is worth fighting for.

She presses her lips to Toni’s, melts into her arms and fits their bodies together. They’re like two puzzle pieces, she muses. Like they were always meant to fit together like this. Like they were  _made_ to fit together.

Toni pulls back, her hand warm on Cheryl’s cheek. Her eyes are swimming with affection, and Cheryl can’t help the tears that flow from hers. Toni found her. Toni  _looked_ for her.

“I would search the ends of the Earth for you, Cheryl,” the Serpent murmurs.

And Cheryl believes her.

“Do you want to take a bath?” Toni asks gently.

Cheryl smirks. “You saying I smell, Topaz?”

Toni smiles. “Like an old woman.”

Cheryl wrinkles her nose. “Yeah, um-” she pauses. “Can you- can you sit in there with me? I don’t want to be alone.” _I want to bask in your company. I want you to stay. I want you._

“Of course, Cheryl.”

 

* * *

 

The water is hot and welcoming. Cheryl sighs as soon as she settles into it. Toni’s taken off her own shirt to avoid any water related accidents, and is sitting on the floor beside the tub, purposefully facing away from the redhead. (She’s not sure what she’ll do if she sees Cheryl naked right now. She just got her back. She wants to do a lot of things to her.)

“The water was always so cold there,” Cheryl says. Toni isn’t sure if it’s directed at her, but she hums in acknowledgement anyway. “I think they did that so we didn’t get turned on by random old women bathing us.”

Toni gags. “What century is this?”

Cheryl falls silent. She wants to tell Toni everything. Wants her to know that during all that time, Toni was the only thing that made her stay  _herself_. The rest of the people there were hardly humans at all. They were cold, emotionless. Cheryl never wanted to be that. It scared her to death.

“Cheryl?” Toni turns, angling her body so that she’s facing the same way as Cheryl but definitely not risking a direct glance at her.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.” Toni looks down at her hands, toying with her fingers. “I wish that never happened to you. I wish I came sooner.”

“Toni,” Cheryl’s wet hand reaches over and she guides Toni’s face to look directly at her. “It was my psychotic mother’s fault. Not yours. Not mine. You came, and that’s- God, that’s all that  _matters_. Nobody else noticed, did they? Nobody else questioned it.  _You_ did.  _You_ found me. In a  _lot_ of ways.”

Toni swallows a lump in her throat. “I was so scared. I thought they’d-” her voice cracks, so she takes a slow breath to steady herself. “I thought I was going to lose you before I even had you.”

Cheryl smiles, leaning her forehead against Toni’s. “You always had me.”  _You always will._

Toni kisses her gently. They never really needed words, anyway. (Cheryl always had her, too.)

(Toni washes Cheryl’s hair for her. She loves running her fingers through long, red strands. Loves the way Cheryl’s eyes are fluttering open and closed, like she hasn’t felt anything so good in her life.)

(She hasn’t.)

 

* * *

 

She’ll never grow tired of holding Toni. Cheryl wants to find a home in the place between her lungs and rib cage and stay there forever. She settles, instead, for keeping her in her arms and kissing her slowly.

She’ll never get tired of kissing Toni.

Her lips are soft, careful, attentive. She moves languidly against Cheryl, like they were always meant for this. For each other. It fills Cheryl with a warm adoration, with  _love_ and she wants to drown in it.

Toni’s body is light on top of hers, her hands careful of roaming too far too soon, but Cheryl can’t think of anything else she’d rather do.

“Toni,” she says breathlessly, and Toni pulls back. Her lips are swollen, her breathing labored.

“Do you want to stop? You’re probably tired.”

“No,” Cheryl shakes her head, her hands on Toni’s waist squeezing a bit. “Toni, I want you.”

Toni’s eyes search Cheryl’s face for any sign of distress. When she finds none, she kisses Cheryl again with a bit more passion. Her teeth scrape against Cheryl’s bottom lip, and the redhead sighs, letting Toni’s tongue slip into her mouth.

Hands slide under her shirt, tugging gently until Cheryl leans up and lets Toni toss the item aside. She hadn’t put a bra on after her bath, leaving her chest bare. Toni trails kisses down Cheryl’s jaw, neck, collarbone, until lips wrap around Cheryl’s nipple.

Cheryl gasps, fingers clutching pink hair. Toni hums, one of her hands toying with Cheryl’s other breast as her tongue circles around a hardening bud. She switches, and Cheryl is already breathless.

She tugs at Toni’s own shirt impatiently. Toni chuckles softly before lifting it off of her and Cheryl sits up to place sloppy kisses along Toni’s collarbone. Toni sighs with a shudder, looking down to lock eyes with the taller girl.

“Lay down,” she instructs softly. Cheryl obliges, her heart kicking into overdrive in her chest and between her thighs.

Toni kisses down her abdomen, gently pulling at Cheryl’s panties. She’d figured this would happen, and favored going without pants. They’d just be in the way, anyhow. She lifts her hips, allowing Toni to take them off slowly. Cheryl has half a mind to tell her to hurry up already, but the tender way Toni is kissing her thighs makes her chest swell with emotion.

When Toni’s eyes find hers, and her hand goes to clutch Cheryl’s over the redhead’s hip, Cheryl shivers with anticipation. She runs her tongue over Cheryl’s slit, and Cheryl’s head falls back onto the pillows with a relieved moan.

Pleasure rolls through her body in a heated wave. Toni’s tongue circles her clit, and her hips twitch against Toni’s mouth. Cheryl groans, Toni working her through wave after wave of pleasure. Noises spill from Cheryl’s lips, incoherent curses slipping from them when Toni sucks at her clit.

She feels fingers run through her slick, gently pressing inside her, and she hisses Toni’s name. Her free hand is tangled in pink hair, tugging Toni as close as possible to where she needs her most. Toni hums against her, and the needy mewl that escapes Cheryl is almost embarrassingly loud.

She digs her nails into Toni’s scalp when fingers curl inside her, Toni’s thrusts picking up in speed and pressing against a spot that makes Cheryl see stars. She isn’t even sure what she’s saying beyond _"right there” “Toni”_  and  _“oh my god”._

Her orgasm hits her hard, her hand in Toni’s hair tugging her impossibly closer and the one holding Toni’s clutching hard. Her hips buck, Toni’s fingers slowing down and her tongue flattening against Cheryl’s clit.

When she slumps to the mattress, Toni’s mouth is on her own again, kissing her even more breathless until Cheryl has to pull away to breathe.

She slips one of her hands down Toni’s body, pulling at Toni’s sweatpants. Toni flips them over, laying on her back so she can kick the article off. Cheryl trails open-mouthed kisses along Toni’s neck, her hands discarding Toni’s panties somewhere into the room. She gasps when she feels how wet Toni is.

“Please,” Toni whispers breathily and Cheryl is a goner.

She runs her fingers through slick folds, feels Toni’s hips press into the movement. Cheryl wastes no time in pressing them inside of the shorter girl. Toni groans immediately, eyes fluttering shut.

Cheryl focuses solely on what makes Toni moan loudest. On the spots that make her whimper and mewl. She bites softly at Toni’s skin, the needy sound that slips from Toni’s lips making Cheryl’s hips roll into her own hand.

Toni’s short nails dig into Cheryl’s back, hissing Cheryl’s name. “ _Fuck_ , right there-” the Serpent whines and Cheryl presses the heel of her hand into Toni’s throbbing clit.

The responding noise is loud and it’s music to Cheryl’s ears. Velvety walls flutter around her fingers, tightening with each thrust.

She wants Toni to feel every ounce of affection Cheryl feels for her. Wants her to know that she’s the only goddamn person who hasn’t given up on her. She wants to tell her that she wants forever with her, that she wants everything with her.

Because, dammit, she’s in love with her and she can’t fight it anymore.

“Fuck, Cheryl, oh- oh  _fuck,_ -” Toni’s orgasm hits her with a sharp cry.

The redhead lets her ride it out, kissing her until she’s no longer twitching with aftershocks.

She slides off of Toni, settling on her back. Toni turns over, facing Cheryl, so Cheryl mirrors the action. Their hands find each other on the sheets between them.

“There wasn’t a single day,” Cheryl begins quietly, “that I didn’t think about you. About us. About how none of it felt wrong or unnatural because every part of me craves every part of you and if that’s a sin, then I don’t want to go to heaven because I found it with you.”

Toni’s smile is bright, full of open, unabashed love. “I found my heaven, too, Cher.”

And for once, Cheryl doesn’t feel dread or sadness for the upcoming morning. Because she’s okay. She and Toni are okay. This is all  _real_ and Cheryl can’t believe someone like her deserves someone like Toni.

But she has her.

**Author's Note:**

> anyway hope u enjoyed comments are cool so are kudos and hey i have a tumblr: pinkbunny-imagines


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